Tuesday 2 October 2007
This man's a genius...
Rob Newman. You've been away too long my friend. A teenage hero of mine from the days of 'The Mary Whitehouse Experience' and 'Newman and Baddiel', Rob(ert) decided to shun the comedy limelight many moons ago to concentrate on novel writing and lead a generally more politically active lifestyle. Recently he returned to our screens with his sublime 'History of Oil' stand-up show for More 4, and he's just had a six part series commissioned for BBC4 called the 'The History of the World Backwards', which goes out at the end of October. What am I, his friggin' biography? No, just a fan, happy to see him back and making me laugh once again. I've just spent half an hour listening to an edition of 'Genius' on Radio 4, where Mr. Newman was Dave Gorman's special guest, and the adjudicator of whether or not the ideas presented were really genius. And he was brilliant. Clever, witty, insightful, majestical. It was just like old times. Except Snap aren't number one with 'Rhythm is a Dancer' and I haven't got any Maths homework to finish.
Thursday 6 September 2007
Really? I mean, really?
Apparently Stephen Fry is involved in a new two-part documentary called 'HIV and Me'. During the series he'll return to a London Aids ward where he used to visit friends, meet up with his first love from Cambridge, and take an HIV test himself. Apparently, and this is the bit of the press release which caught my eye, 'the results of the test will be kept under wraps until the programme is aired'. Well, fingers crossed then, eh, Steve? I mean has it really come to this? A serious, emotive and potentially hard-hitting documentary about an incredibly sensitive subject, is tagged with, with, well - what exactly are they trying to say? Tune into the show to see if Stephen Fry has or hasn't got HIV? I'm suprised they haven't opened a phone-line, where viewers can take a fifty-fifty vote on the outcome.
Sunday 2 September 2007
Nice things were said (or in this case written)
After feeling a bit down concerning certain reviews for EWFH, I've managed to find a couple more which were really quite nice. First there's this from the Evening Standard...
PICK OF THE NIGHT
Earth, Wind for Hire 11pm, Radio 2
As one of the nation’s most indemand comedians and actors, it’s hard to see how Bill Bailey found the time to make this little gem, but we can be very glad he did. The musical comic pays an affectionate homage to tribute bands, beginning with a look at the origins of what has become a big business.
PICK OF THE NIGHT
Earth, Wind for Hire 11pm, Radio 2
As one of the nation’s most indemand comedians and actors, it’s hard to see how Bill Bailey found the time to make this little gem, but we can be very glad he did. The musical comic pays an affectionate homage to tribute bands, beginning with a look at the origins of what has become a big business.
Yes, how did he find the time? Then there's this from Edd McCracken in the Scottish Sunday Herald...
WHEN it comes to tribute bands, forget the music the name's the thing. Brickies from Croydon and dinner ladies from Kirkcaldy morphing into superstars are secondary to how much fun you can have with a band's moniker. Any documentary called Earth, Wind For Hire (Wednesday, Radio 2, 11pm) understands this perfectly. Real comedian Bill Bailey opened the half-hour with a barrage of pun-filled tribute band names. Pink Floyd become Floydian Slip, Marc Bolan fronts T.Rextasy, and Blondie are Once More Into The Bleach. A Dutch Queen tribute band missed the point and named themselves We Are Not Queen.
In this jaunty perusal of the tribute phenomenon, Bjorn Again founder Rod Leissle revealed his ethos.
"The name should refer to the band they are supposed to sound like, " he said, "as well as giving the audience a hint as to what the act will be like." For his Abba tribute band this principle ruled out some wonderful names. Abbattoir didn't make the cut, while Abbaoriginie was problematic on account of the fact that there aren't many natural blonde native Australians. But Leissle's own theory would suggest that as well as producing eerily flawless versions of the Swedish supergroup's hits, Bjorn Again are out to win some souls for Christ too.
To the sceptic, these bands are what supermarket cava is to Grand Cru Champagne a cheap, wan imitation but Earth, Wind For Hire was told with all the bonhomie of an Abba hit and could break down the resistance of the snarkiest NME reader. Bailey wisely didn't make any excuse for their inherent naffness.
Like many cultural violations of the past 20 years, the baby boomers are to blame for tribute bands.
Thanks to their obsession with 1960s music and their suffocating dominance of the artistic radar, looking back finally became acceptable in the 1980s. It's no surprise that in the history of tribute bands the Bootleg Beatles were the first. They arose in 1979 from the wreckage of a West End show, Beatlemania, and are still on the road. So the baby boomers who were turned off by punk and indifferent to New Wave, flocked to the cosy womb of nostalgia and spawned a massive industry. Today there are more than 80 Pink Floyd tribute acts, 38 faux Queens, five different versions of Bjorn Again (that's right, they're a franchise), not to mention Stars In Their Eyes.
And before you all turn your sneering faces away, remember this: Nirvana only agreed to headline the Reading festival in 1992 on the condition that Bjorn Again were also on the bill. There were many lumberjack-shirted grunge fans standing with clods of mud in their hands waiting to pelt the antipodean impostors, Bailey included, until they saw Kurt Cobain et al standing by the stage lapping it up. And Earth, Wind For Hire had the same effect it was confoundingly enjoyable.
What I like about this review is how Edd seems to imply that he really wanted to hate it, but just found it so darn enjoyable that he couldn't. That's really something. Add to this another mention in The Independent and a four star review in Heat, yeah that's right, then we've managed to get some serious press coverage out of this (which I don't doubt is down to Bill. His name attached to it has given it much kudos) and for our first effort, we should be very proud. Now all we've got to do is try to sell another one (or two).Tuesday 28 August 2007
Comedy of the Week? Really?
Just watched the first episode of the new BBC1 sitcom 'Outnumbered'. God, it was tedious, perhaps notable only for the bit where the girl asked 'What's a hypocrite?' Well since the show was co-created by Andy Hamilton, a man who once vowed to never work for BBC1 again after the way the channel arsed around with 'Trevor's World of Sport', the answer would be Andy Hamilton.
'Outnumbered' - presumably referring to the amount of funny lines surrounded by the rest of the script. And soon to refer to the number of actors involved verses the number of viewers watching.
'Outnumbered' - presumably referring to the amount of funny lines surrounded by the rest of the script. And soon to refer to the number of actors involved verses the number of viewers watching.
Monday 27 August 2007
'Matt Damon!'
Watched 'The Bourne Ultimatum' today. Class. Really superb. In fact rewatched the other two over the last few days and it's just a really great spy trilogy. But for all the driving cars of buildings, surviving 90 mph traffic accidents, leaping off rooftops and such like, easily the most far fetched bit was when Bourne bought a pay as you go mobile and within seconds it was connected to a network and working perfectly. Er, not in my experience.
Oh yeah, and a Guardian journalist gets shot in the head. For some reason I really enjoyed that bit...
Oh yeah, and a Guardian journalist gets shot in the head. For some reason I really enjoyed that bit...
Sunday 26 August 2007
'Reasonably enjoyable'
Well, we managed to get a lot of press coverage for our R2 documentary in the end. The show was mentioned, in some capacity, in every major broadsheet, and was singled out as a Pick of the Day in most of them. It was also a RT Choice in the Radio Times. The reviews are also in and, well, they're mixed to say the least. A couple of positive ones, which obviously we'll keep and show to everyone, quite a few that mention the show and specific aspects, but don't really say if they loved or hated it, and a few that are very harsh. Two of which were by women. Not sure if that means anything. This one was from Elizabeth Mahoney in The Guardian
Earth, Wind for Hire (Radio 2), presented by Bill Bailey, takes a long look at tribute bands. It's more of a stare, really, an intense scrutiny lasting four weeks. I know it's summer and the schedules are all a bit empty, but really: four weeks? This could have sat very happily as a one-off documentary, not feeling quite so overstretched. Still, there were some fine moments, mostly in the playful names of tribute bands - my favourite was Once More Into the Bleach, a Blondie emulation - and the jocular mood of postmodern tomfoolery characterising some acts. The Bootleg Beatles once performed Imagine, breaking off so that the fake John Lennon could tell the crowd, "I can't play that - I haven't written it yet." Then there was a stage-door man advising someone asking for Nick Dagger, the lead singer of the Counterfeit Stones: "Now, you do know it's not the real Nick Dagger, don't you?" Bill Bailey's delivery of the script was, disappointingly, a bit wooden, apart from the obvious funny lines. Perhaps it was the thought of three more programmes.
Now, this piece strikes me as a bit odd. It seems to be criticising the fact that this is a four-part documentary, obviously feeling that tribute bands shouldn't warrant such in-depth treatment, but then only reviews the first part. I have no idea if she's heard any of the other shows, but it does seem strange to pour scorn over a series for being too long, but then only mention the first bit. It's like saying I read 'Genesis' and there's like loads more books in there which I haven't read, but this Bible thing's a bit overstretched in my view.
Weird. Particularly when she admits that there were 'some fine moments' in it after all. Well, did you like it or not woman? Have a go at the way Bill reads the script if you must, but let's have a bit of consistency. Reviews like this are so irritating. And then there was this one from everyone's tenth favourite Newsnight Review contributor Miranda Sawyer in The Observer, which is part of a longer rant about the state of R2 documentaries...
Earth, Wind, For Hire, the tribute bands doc, was a case in point. What a hilarious and intriguing topic and what a dull, dull programme. Perhaps it's because Radio 2, for some reason, has decided to stretch the subject over four half-hours rather than the more obvious single hour, but the programme sounded laboured from the start. Bill Bailey, a funny, lively man, must have been given the script late. It's the only excuse for an introduction that intoned: 'We'll be examining why they do what they do and discovering just what it takes to do it well and how they carve out a niche for themselves in what's become an increasingly crowded market.' What is this? A power-point presentation to napping marketing executives? Come on. We're talking tribute bands. Comedy gold, surely?
The problem we seem to encounter with some of these reviewers is whenever you mention Tribute Bands, people think it's just gonna be half an hour of funny names and taking the piss. Indeed, 'funny names' are often the first thing people mention. I started a thread on a website recently to promote the show, and within a couple of posts people were simply posting names of tribute bands (the same was true on the R2 message board). The fact is, these shows were always designed to be something a bit less frivolous. We could quite easily have spent a couple of minutes having Bill simply reel off a list of tribute band names (which is pretty much what Andrew Collins did in his slightly sneering 'Send in the Clones' R4 show from last year) and generally ridicule and belittle everyone, but that's neither fair nor true. These are music based documentaries that seek to celebrate just how good many tribute musicians are. Go and see The Bootleg Beatles. Yes, you'll have fun, yes you'll laugh along with the postmodern quips and pastiche of it all, but most of all you'll come away saying how good they were. Of course we play up the humour as and when we feel it's required, but you're not gonna get very far on R2 if that's all you do. Unfortunately, some people just can't see past that.
We realise, all of this has been a very sharp learning curve for us. Our first music documentary. We were specifically told not to 'funny it up' too much, for various reasons, but we were always adamant that we wouldn't simply take the mick. It's true that we would have loved Bill to have been more involved, and I'm sure the show would have been stronger as a result, but we have to accept that in the end he read the script as if it were just another voiceover gig. That's the problem - certain criticisms are all the harder to take when there's a grain of truth to them.
Earth, Wind for Hire (Radio 2), presented by Bill Bailey, takes a long look at tribute bands. It's more of a stare, really, an intense scrutiny lasting four weeks. I know it's summer and the schedules are all a bit empty, but really: four weeks? This could have sat very happily as a one-off documentary, not feeling quite so overstretched. Still, there were some fine moments, mostly in the playful names of tribute bands - my favourite was Once More Into the Bleach, a Blondie emulation - and the jocular mood of postmodern tomfoolery characterising some acts. The Bootleg Beatles once performed Imagine, breaking off so that the fake John Lennon could tell the crowd, "I can't play that - I haven't written it yet." Then there was a stage-door man advising someone asking for Nick Dagger, the lead singer of the Counterfeit Stones: "Now, you do know it's not the real Nick Dagger, don't you?" Bill Bailey's delivery of the script was, disappointingly, a bit wooden, apart from the obvious funny lines. Perhaps it was the thought of three more programmes.
Now, this piece strikes me as a bit odd. It seems to be criticising the fact that this is a four-part documentary, obviously feeling that tribute bands shouldn't warrant such in-depth treatment, but then only reviews the first part. I have no idea if she's heard any of the other shows, but it does seem strange to pour scorn over a series for being too long, but then only mention the first bit. It's like saying I read 'Genesis' and there's like loads more books in there which I haven't read, but this Bible thing's a bit overstretched in my view.
Weird. Particularly when she admits that there were 'some fine moments' in it after all. Well, did you like it or not woman? Have a go at the way Bill reads the script if you must, but let's have a bit of consistency. Reviews like this are so irritating. And then there was this one from everyone's tenth favourite Newsnight Review contributor Miranda Sawyer in The Observer, which is part of a longer rant about the state of R2 documentaries...
Earth, Wind, For Hire, the tribute bands doc, was a case in point. What a hilarious and intriguing topic and what a dull, dull programme. Perhaps it's because Radio 2, for some reason, has decided to stretch the subject over four half-hours rather than the more obvious single hour, but the programme sounded laboured from the start. Bill Bailey, a funny, lively man, must have been given the script late. It's the only excuse for an introduction that intoned: 'We'll be examining why they do what they do and discovering just what it takes to do it well and how they carve out a niche for themselves in what's become an increasingly crowded market.' What is this? A power-point presentation to napping marketing executives? Come on. We're talking tribute bands. Comedy gold, surely?
The problem we seem to encounter with some of these reviewers is whenever you mention Tribute Bands, people think it's just gonna be half an hour of funny names and taking the piss. Indeed, 'funny names' are often the first thing people mention. I started a thread on a website recently to promote the show, and within a couple of posts people were simply posting names of tribute bands (the same was true on the R2 message board). The fact is, these shows were always designed to be something a bit less frivolous. We could quite easily have spent a couple of minutes having Bill simply reel off a list of tribute band names (which is pretty much what Andrew Collins did in his slightly sneering 'Send in the Clones' R4 show from last year) and generally ridicule and belittle everyone, but that's neither fair nor true. These are music based documentaries that seek to celebrate just how good many tribute musicians are. Go and see The Bootleg Beatles. Yes, you'll have fun, yes you'll laugh along with the postmodern quips and pastiche of it all, but most of all you'll come away saying how good they were. Of course we play up the humour as and when we feel it's required, but you're not gonna get very far on R2 if that's all you do. Unfortunately, some people just can't see past that.
We realise, all of this has been a very sharp learning curve for us. Our first music documentary. We were specifically told not to 'funny it up' too much, for various reasons, but we were always adamant that we wouldn't simply take the mick. It's true that we would have loved Bill to have been more involved, and I'm sure the show would have been stronger as a result, but we have to accept that in the end he read the script as if it were just another voiceover gig. That's the problem - certain criticisms are all the harder to take when there's a grain of truth to them.
Thursday 2 August 2007
'You see, this is why we should hate kids'
I'm very protective about my love for 'The Simpsons'. Rabidly proprietorial, you might say. Because I've been watching the show for nearly seventeen years now. Yep, I was there at the start (well, almost) and can still remember the joy of watching that first Christmas special with my folks. We were hooked instantly and in terms of TV, it's given me more hours of pleasure than anything else, made all the sweeter by the fact that many of those moments were shared with my family. I really do think 'being there' during the classic years of The Simpsons is the closest my generation will get to the thrill of hearing the latest Beatles single or watching Ali fight live. Yes, it's that good.
And whenever I see the latest rent-a-celeb on some clip show raving about how great the show is, I think yeah, but I was there first so neh-neh-neh. It's quite a reasoned and philosophical viewpoint, I know.
Anyway, after years of would they or wouldn't they, they finally have. Done a Simpsons movie, that is, and I went to see it today. With my folks. And it was great. A true work of art, beautiful animation, crammed full of corking gags and a plot mad enough to justify it's big screen outing. My favourite joke features the desire for either alcohol or prayer at a time of crisis - you'll know it when you see it. And, of course, you'll be singing the Spider-Pig song for weeks.
And yet... there's a nagging voice at the back of my mind, sounding uncannily like Marge, that says 'I just wonder what it would have been like if they'd made it during the heyday?' Because, great though it is, some bits either fall flat or feel like they've been done already on TV. Bart's bonding with Ned Flanders and Lisa developing a crush on a young environmentalist in particular feel all too familar.
But, as many reviews have remarked, if the worst you can say about The Simpsons movie is that it plays like a couple of really funny TV episodes back to back, then that's some movie.
Go see. Now.
And whenever I see the latest rent-a-celeb on some clip show raving about how great the show is, I think yeah, but I was there first so neh-neh-neh. It's quite a reasoned and philosophical viewpoint, I know.
Anyway, after years of would they or wouldn't they, they finally have. Done a Simpsons movie, that is, and I went to see it today. With my folks. And it was great. A true work of art, beautiful animation, crammed full of corking gags and a plot mad enough to justify it's big screen outing. My favourite joke features the desire for either alcohol or prayer at a time of crisis - you'll know it when you see it. And, of course, you'll be singing the Spider-Pig song for weeks.
And yet... there's a nagging voice at the back of my mind, sounding uncannily like Marge, that says 'I just wonder what it would have been like if they'd made it during the heyday?' Because, great though it is, some bits either fall flat or feel like they've been done already on TV. Bart's bonding with Ned Flanders and Lisa developing a crush on a young environmentalist in particular feel all too familar.
But, as many reviews have remarked, if the worst you can say about The Simpsons movie is that it plays like a couple of really funny TV episodes back to back, then that's some movie.
Go see. Now.
Thursday 26 July 2007
'You work in Television...'
Caught the first episode of 'Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip'. Or 'Larry Sanders' meets 'Saturday Night Live'. Thought it was great and since it's already been cancelled in the States it's gonna cut the potential expenditure on DVD box sets. I still haven't gotten around to watching 'The West Wing', yes I know it's the televisual equivalent of goldust flavoured chocolate rainbows, but I just haven't found the time yet, and this show obviously shares much of the same DNA. Many experts felt it got axed because people lost interest pretty quickly when they realised the stakes weren't as high as that thing in the White House, but I'm not sure that's true. I think it has some very important things to say about the way society is going, through censorship dictated by certain religious groups, and just how dumbed down our lives are becoming. Particularly inspiring was Judd Hirsch's rant, as the bitter Exec Producer who gets fired early on...
'This is not going to be a very good show tonight, and I think you should change the channel. Change the channel, go ahead, right now. Better yet, turn off the TV, okay? Hell no, I know it seems like this is supposed to be funny. But tomorrow, you're going to find out that it wasn't, and by that time I'll be fired. Now this, this is not sup- . . . this is not a sketch.
This show used to be cutting-edge political and social satire. But it's gotten lobotomized, by a candy-ass broadcast network hell-bent on doing nothing that might challenge their audience. We were about to do a sketch that you've seen already about 500 times. Yeah, no one's going to confuse George Bush with George Plimpton. Now, we get it.
We're all being lobotomized by this country's most influential industry, that's just thrown in the towel on any effort to do anything that doesn't include the courting of 12-year-old boys. Not even the smart 12-year-olds--the stupid ones, the idiots. Of which there are plenty, thanks in no small measure to this network. So why don't you just change the channel? Turn off your TV? Do it right now. Go ahead.
They say there's a struggle between art and commerce. Well, there's always been a struggle between art and commerce, and I'm telling you, art is getting its ass kicked, and it's making us mean, and it's making us bitchy, it's making us cheap punks. That's not who we are. People are having contests to see how much they can be like Donald Trump? We're eating worms for money. "Who Wants To Screw My Sister?" Guys are getting killed in a war that's got theme music and a logo.
That remote in your hand is a crack pipe. Oh yeah, every once in a while we pretend to be appalled. It’s pornography, and it's not even good pornography. They're just this side of snuff films, and friends, that's what's next, 'cause that's all that's left. And the two things that make them scared gutless are the FCC and every psycho religious cult that gets positively horny at the very mention of a boycott. These are the people they're afraid of. This prissy, feckless, off-the-charts greed-filled whorehouse of a network, I do believe, is thoroughly unpatriotic, mother'— [show cuts to title screen]
'This is not going to be a very good show tonight, and I think you should change the channel. Change the channel, go ahead, right now. Better yet, turn off the TV, okay? Hell no, I know it seems like this is supposed to be funny. But tomorrow, you're going to find out that it wasn't, and by that time I'll be fired. Now this, this is not sup- . . . this is not a sketch.
This show used to be cutting-edge political and social satire. But it's gotten lobotomized, by a candy-ass broadcast network hell-bent on doing nothing that might challenge their audience. We were about to do a sketch that you've seen already about 500 times. Yeah, no one's going to confuse George Bush with George Plimpton. Now, we get it.
We're all being lobotomized by this country's most influential industry, that's just thrown in the towel on any effort to do anything that doesn't include the courting of 12-year-old boys. Not even the smart 12-year-olds--the stupid ones, the idiots. Of which there are plenty, thanks in no small measure to this network. So why don't you just change the channel? Turn off your TV? Do it right now. Go ahead.
They say there's a struggle between art and commerce. Well, there's always been a struggle between art and commerce, and I'm telling you, art is getting its ass kicked, and it's making us mean, and it's making us bitchy, it's making us cheap punks. That's not who we are. People are having contests to see how much they can be like Donald Trump? We're eating worms for money. "Who Wants To Screw My Sister?" Guys are getting killed in a war that's got theme music and a logo.
That remote in your hand is a crack pipe. Oh yeah, every once in a while we pretend to be appalled. It’s pornography, and it's not even good pornography. They're just this side of snuff films, and friends, that's what's next, 'cause that's all that's left. And the two things that make them scared gutless are the FCC and every psycho religious cult that gets positively horny at the very mention of a boycott. These are the people they're afraid of. This prissy, feckless, off-the-charts greed-filled whorehouse of a network, I do believe, is thoroughly unpatriotic, mother'— [show cuts to title screen]
Saturday 21 July 2007
Washed up at 28
We recently pitched some sketch ideas for a new sketch show for BBC radio. The brief was very wide, anything would be considered it said, and since there wasn't much time till the deadline, we dusted down a load of old sketches from various other shows we've written for, which they hadn't used but which still made us chuckle, and we sent them in. That's what writers do, you see. Recycle, recycle, recycle. Our carbon footprints are tiny. Our thinking was if the producer liked our stuff, we could fire off some new material more tailored to fit the brief. Or something.
Well, apparently the producer has been inundated with sketches. About a thousand. So that wasn't practical. You see in the old days, most BBC radio sketch shows had an open door policy so you could send in stuff at any time. Then they closed the doors. Except they now open them occasionally on specific shows in an effort to still appear like they give a toss, get absolutely swamped by people who are now desperate to be seen, think it's not worth the effort and close the doors again. Yeah, that's smart.
But that ain't the problem here. The problem is we were told our stuff was funny, but we're writing for 'too old' a crowd. Because you see the cast are aged between 18 and 22. Oh, are they indeed? Are they now? Because, I can't get my head around that. Now, regardless of how radical you want your shiny new sketch show to be, it's got to link to aspects of real life or things that people can relate to. It can distort or exaggerate them for comic effect, but it's gotta consist of dynamics that people can understand. Man and woman, boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, children and parents, old and young, gay and straight. If there's only a four year gap between your cast, and some are still in their flippin' teens, you ain't half limiting yourself with what you can achieve. Now, I don't know who the cast are, some of them might turn out to be great comic performers, but to have such a wide open brief, and then cast actors that young seems to be an incredible contradiction. It makes you feel washed up at 28.
And who is going to listen to a sketch show with a cast that young? On a channel that feeds people a near constant diet of Goon Show and Round the Horne repeats. Does not compute. But that's the BBC mentality at the moment. It drones on about how great 'Doctor Who' is because it appeals to a family audience, then proceeds to make sketch shows that seem to have an age discrimination policy not seen since 'Logan's Run'. If there's a sketch with anyone over 30 in it, it gets zapped. But it's not just here. We've recently worked on sketch shows about gay people, sketch shows about 'northern' people. Why not just do a show about people, all people, whoever they are? The whole point of a sketch show is it should be about anything you like. Anything. But that notion seems to have been lost somewhere.
It makes you think that the BBC should spend less time having internal enquiries about whether or not a researcher pretended to be a contestant on a phone-in quiz, and more time having internal enquiries about just how insular their creative output seems to be.
Well, apparently the producer has been inundated with sketches. About a thousand. So that wasn't practical. You see in the old days, most BBC radio sketch shows had an open door policy so you could send in stuff at any time. Then they closed the doors. Except they now open them occasionally on specific shows in an effort to still appear like they give a toss, get absolutely swamped by people who are now desperate to be seen, think it's not worth the effort and close the doors again. Yeah, that's smart.
But that ain't the problem here. The problem is we were told our stuff was funny, but we're writing for 'too old' a crowd. Because you see the cast are aged between 18 and 22. Oh, are they indeed? Are they now? Because, I can't get my head around that. Now, regardless of how radical you want your shiny new sketch show to be, it's got to link to aspects of real life or things that people can relate to. It can distort or exaggerate them for comic effect, but it's gotta consist of dynamics that people can understand. Man and woman, boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, children and parents, old and young, gay and straight. If there's only a four year gap between your cast, and some are still in their flippin' teens, you ain't half limiting yourself with what you can achieve. Now, I don't know who the cast are, some of them might turn out to be great comic performers, but to have such a wide open brief, and then cast actors that young seems to be an incredible contradiction. It makes you feel washed up at 28.
And who is going to listen to a sketch show with a cast that young? On a channel that feeds people a near constant diet of Goon Show and Round the Horne repeats. Does not compute. But that's the BBC mentality at the moment. It drones on about how great 'Doctor Who' is because it appeals to a family audience, then proceeds to make sketch shows that seem to have an age discrimination policy not seen since 'Logan's Run'. If there's a sketch with anyone over 30 in it, it gets zapped. But it's not just here. We've recently worked on sketch shows about gay people, sketch shows about 'northern' people. Why not just do a show about people, all people, whoever they are? The whole point of a sketch show is it should be about anything you like. Anything. But that notion seems to have been lost somewhere.
It makes you think that the BBC should spend less time having internal enquiries about whether or not a researcher pretended to be a contestant on a phone-in quiz, and more time having internal enquiries about just how insular their creative output seems to be.
What-a Lot-a Potter
Unless you're a moon man living in a cave on the moon with a moon bag over your head, and moon headphones on listening to 'Walking on the Moon', you'll know that the seventh and last Harry Potter book has finally been released. Some people will be very excited by this news. Others won't care. But whatever the case, it's fascinating to witness the scenes of craziness the adventures of the little speccy oik have inspired. Book shops have never seemed so rock n' roll as when they're open at midnight and hoards of people are jostling through the doors. It's highly unlikely we'll ever see scenes like this again. And it's a British author that's made it happen. We should be very proud. I did wonder though, as I saw the people queuing outside Waterstones, whether or not old JK ever has the urge to walk past one at random and shout 'Yeah. I made yo freeze yo asses off, just to buy a damn book . I own you, bitches!'
Because I was there. Well, I was having a drink in Notting Hill with a mate of mine and my girlfriend. She likes the books and a couple of shops were opening late/early, so we hung around for a bit after the pub shut and got a copy. Just the one, JK ain't owning my ass! I think my girlfriend had already read two chapters by the time the night bus dropped us off. Well, not before I'd flicked to the last page to find out what happens. Who'd have though they'd burn Ron in a big Wicker Man, Snape turned out to be Harry's father, Dumbledore was a figment of Hermione's imagination and Hogwarts was Earth all along.
Because I was there. Well, I was having a drink in Notting Hill with a mate of mine and my girlfriend. She likes the books and a couple of shops were opening late/early, so we hung around for a bit after the pub shut and got a copy. Just the one, JK ain't owning my ass! I think my girlfriend had already read two chapters by the time the night bus dropped us off. Well, not before I'd flicked to the last page to find out what happens. Who'd have though they'd burn Ron in a big Wicker Man, Snape turned out to be Harry's father, Dumbledore was a figment of Hermione's imagination and Hogwarts was Earth all along.
Thursday 19 July 2007
Biscuits (Part Two)
Well, the edit for our tribute band show is over. And a day early too. Nice. After, well, nearly fifteen months of stop start work, it's hard to believe it's done, but it seems to have been totally worth it. It's sounding great, everything seemed to cut together really well, we didn't have to lose anything major from any of the shows, and we had a lot of fun doing it. Oh, and the biscuits were very nice again. Being cooped up in a tiny edit suite for two days could have been hell, but it wasn't. We laughed a lot and Paul the engineer was an absolute star. Take a bow that man.
The whole experience has jump started us, I think, and made us want to get cracking on ideas for a new series. And we've already got loads to be getting on with, which is great. Hopefully at least one of them will get picked up by the powers that be.
Because we have a taste for quality biscuits now.
The whole experience has jump started us, I think, and made us want to get cracking on ideas for a new series. And we've already got loads to be getting on with, which is great. Hopefully at least one of them will get picked up by the powers that be.
Because we have a taste for quality biscuits now.
Sunday 8 July 2007
Don-don-don't, don't stop the beat...
DanceX starts next Saturday at 6.55 on BBC1. So that advert keeps telling us. Whether we want to know or not. It could very well turn out to be the campest thing that BBC1's ever shown on a Saturday night (which considering the competition over the last few years, that's really saying something). Thing is, when the voiceover says 'Bruno versus Arlene in the battle to create the ultimate group', all I can hear is 'Bruno versus Ali', which conjurs up visions of perhaps the two most polar opposite heavyweight boxers in history, trying to get a lot of people in leg warmers to jig around a bit in unison. Now there's an idea for a show...
'It's a radio for speaking to God...'
Right, so I'm in this nice little Italian restaurant on Saturday night, when who should I see on the table in the corner but the actor Ron Cook AKA Sean the Irish Bastard from 'The Black Adder' and Mr. Magpie from the Doctor Who story 'The Idiot's Lantern'. Yeah, him off the telly. And he was Parker in the 'Thunderbirds' movie. Oh, and he was in 'Hot Fuzz' too. Worth a couple of anorak points, surely. Then I look a bit closer and he's talking to another actor, Paul Freeman, from 'The Long Good Friday', 'Hot Fuzz' and 'Power Rangers: The Movie'.
Oh yeah, and he played also Belloq in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'.
I saw Belloq having his dinner! Brilliant. I had to strongly resist the urge to grab his food off him and say 'Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away'. Worth about a hundred anorak points, that one.
Oh yeah, and he played also Belloq in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'.
I saw Belloq having his dinner! Brilliant. I had to strongly resist the urge to grab his food off him and say 'Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away'. Worth about a hundred anorak points, that one.
Friday 6 July 2007
'Look who's in the Reject Bin...'
'Raggy Dolls, Raggy Dolls, are happy just to be. Raggy Dolls, Raggy Dolls, dolls like you and me.'
So sang Neil Innes back in the day. Well, that's all well and good for dolls, Neil, but dolls don't have bills to pay and nervous breakdowns to suffer. Dolls don't have to worry about relationships and the like. Although you can't tell me there wasn't something going on between Lucy and Sad Sack. Please. That was totally on. Although they've most likely been married and divorced by now, with Sad Sack getting custody of Lucy's head. There's an obvious parallel between a recent high profile couple going through a divorce, one of which has a removable body part, but...
Anyway. Rejection. Part of being a writer and it always will be. I know that's a cliche, but as someone else once said, something's only a cliche because it happens a lot. This week has been particularly tough.
On Monday we were told that our three radio series proposals under consideration (two music documentaries and a sketch show) will now not become fully formed programmes. As always with these things, no real reason was given. It just is.
We're also still trying to flog a couple of radio sitcom scripts we wrote some time back. We've shown them both to various people, who've blown hot and cold at various stages, and we've persevered because we think they're strong ideas, and no one has really done them yet. This week, we showed them to an experienced in-house radio producer, and his verdict was pretty devastating. Trouble is, he's right. Totally. They just don't work. It kinds of makes you wish somebody else had pointed that out to us earlier on.
And today is the final day by which the winners of the recent Radio Five Live short drama competition 'The Royal Tapes' were to be contacted. I decided to have a go, simply because it's another avenue to explore. A three minute drama about anything to do with the Royal Family. With only two characters. Played by Alistair McGowan. I wrote five scripts and sent off the best two. No word on that one, so...
So you feel down for a bit. Only natural. Then you start the process of thinking up a load of new ideas. But it's hard. Mind you, it might be a bit easier if I didn't spend all my time remembering obscure 80's cartoon shows...
So sang Neil Innes back in the day. Well, that's all well and good for dolls, Neil, but dolls don't have bills to pay and nervous breakdowns to suffer. Dolls don't have to worry about relationships and the like. Although you can't tell me there wasn't something going on between Lucy and Sad Sack. Please. That was totally on. Although they've most likely been married and divorced by now, with Sad Sack getting custody of Lucy's head. There's an obvious parallel between a recent high profile couple going through a divorce, one of which has a removable body part, but...
Anyway. Rejection. Part of being a writer and it always will be. I know that's a cliche, but as someone else once said, something's only a cliche because it happens a lot. This week has been particularly tough.
On Monday we were told that our three radio series proposals under consideration (two music documentaries and a sketch show) will now not become fully formed programmes. As always with these things, no real reason was given. It just is.
We're also still trying to flog a couple of radio sitcom scripts we wrote some time back. We've shown them both to various people, who've blown hot and cold at various stages, and we've persevered because we think they're strong ideas, and no one has really done them yet. This week, we showed them to an experienced in-house radio producer, and his verdict was pretty devastating. Trouble is, he's right. Totally. They just don't work. It kinds of makes you wish somebody else had pointed that out to us earlier on.
And today is the final day by which the winners of the recent Radio Five Live short drama competition 'The Royal Tapes' were to be contacted. I decided to have a go, simply because it's another avenue to explore. A three minute drama about anything to do with the Royal Family. With only two characters. Played by Alistair McGowan. I wrote five scripts and sent off the best two. No word on that one, so...
So you feel down for a bit. Only natural. Then you start the process of thinking up a load of new ideas. But it's hard. Mind you, it might be a bit easier if I didn't spend all my time remembering obscure 80's cartoon shows...
Thursday 5 July 2007
So many biscuits...
Today, finally, after months of waiting we managed to get Bill Bailey into a studio to record the links for our Radio 2 documentary about tribute bands. Blimey, it's taken a while...
The recording went well. The studio happened to be about a ten minute walk from my flat, which considering the tube derailment earlier in the day meant that we didn't have to brave a confused transport system. Phew. The studio, the Soundhouse, was a fab little place, all tucked away round the back of the Majestic wine warehouse. They didn't have any wine, but they had some fantastic biscuits. And then some more biscuits. And a few more biscuits on top of those. In fact there were biscuits everywhere and I'm surprised anything coherent ever gets recorded for people constantly chomping on a biscuit.
The engineer, Paul, was a very friendly soul so that's obviously gonna make life so much easier. He said he liked the script and had in fact recently seen a tribute band, the Counterfeit Beatles, who played at the studio's 2oth birthday party. He was chuckling along as Bill read our words, which was nice of him.
We didn't get the chance to chat much with Bill, sadly. He stormed through the links, pausing only for a cup of tea and a sandwich, and was funny, and silly, and, well, Bill Bailey really. He was briefly distracted by a couple of rogue sentences that he highlighted for their abstract absurdity - the line 'made up entirely from dwarves' in the hands of Bill Bailey is a powerful weapon, capable of rendering nearby listeners virtually helpless. Take note the UN. Then someone asked him to move his car because it was blocking Tom Conti's Rolls Royce, who was next door recording a radio drama. After that, everything was checked, then it was a quick handshake and Bill was off. I wonder if we'll see him again?
We're back in a fortnight to do the edit but at this stage Bill's happy, the producer's happy, the engineer's happy and we're happy. So we're all happy.
Oh, and I spotted Stephen Greif in the corridor AKA the original Space Commander Travis from off of 'Blakes 7'. He was holding a cup of tea and waiting for us to get past. And he had a bit of a weary expression on his face as he waited. But I resisted the urge to say, 'Alright pal, you'd best get back to Servalan'. For those of you who don't know the series, Travis finally gave up his obsessive pursuit of Blake and the rest of the Liberator crew, relocated to Scotland and had a series of hit records including 'Writing To Reach You', 'Driftwood' and 'Why Does It Always Rain On Me?'
The recording went well. The studio happened to be about a ten minute walk from my flat, which considering the tube derailment earlier in the day meant that we didn't have to brave a confused transport system. Phew. The studio, the Soundhouse, was a fab little place, all tucked away round the back of the Majestic wine warehouse. They didn't have any wine, but they had some fantastic biscuits. And then some more biscuits. And a few more biscuits on top of those. In fact there were biscuits everywhere and I'm surprised anything coherent ever gets recorded for people constantly chomping on a biscuit.
The engineer, Paul, was a very friendly soul so that's obviously gonna make life so much easier. He said he liked the script and had in fact recently seen a tribute band, the Counterfeit Beatles, who played at the studio's 2oth birthday party. He was chuckling along as Bill read our words, which was nice of him.
We didn't get the chance to chat much with Bill, sadly. He stormed through the links, pausing only for a cup of tea and a sandwich, and was funny, and silly, and, well, Bill Bailey really. He was briefly distracted by a couple of rogue sentences that he highlighted for their abstract absurdity - the line 'made up entirely from dwarves' in the hands of Bill Bailey is a powerful weapon, capable of rendering nearby listeners virtually helpless. Take note the UN. Then someone asked him to move his car because it was blocking Tom Conti's Rolls Royce, who was next door recording a radio drama. After that, everything was checked, then it was a quick handshake and Bill was off. I wonder if we'll see him again?
We're back in a fortnight to do the edit but at this stage Bill's happy, the producer's happy, the engineer's happy and we're happy. So we're all happy.
Oh, and I spotted Stephen Greif in the corridor AKA the original Space Commander Travis from off of 'Blakes 7'. He was holding a cup of tea and waiting for us to get past. And he had a bit of a weary expression on his face as he waited. But I resisted the urge to say, 'Alright pal, you'd best get back to Servalan'. For those of you who don't know the series, Travis finally gave up his obsessive pursuit of Blake and the rest of the Liberator crew, relocated to Scotland and had a series of hit records including 'Writing To Reach You', 'Driftwood' and 'Why Does It Always Rain On Me?'
Hello there!
Well. A blog. Everyone else has got one, so I thought I'd get one too. Hang on though, that's how shell suits became popular. Oh well, no going back now.
I'm a professional writer, mainly specialising in comedy, and I've written for loads of telly and radio programmes over the last few years and you may well have seen some of them with your eyes or heard some of them with your ears (or if you're really clever, the other way around).
Today I'm meeting full-time musician and comedian, and part-time Klingon, Bill Bailey, who's very kindly agreed to read out the links with his mouth for our Radio 2 music documentary. I say 'our' because it's the work of myself and my writing partner. Who's on his way now. And he gets very cross if his coffee isn't ready on time. Ooh, I can hear him coming up the stairs now!
RJW
I'm a professional writer, mainly specialising in comedy, and I've written for loads of telly and radio programmes over the last few years and you may well have seen some of them with your eyes or heard some of them with your ears (or if you're really clever, the other way around).
Today I'm meeting full-time musician and comedian, and part-time Klingon, Bill Bailey, who's very kindly agreed to read out the links with his mouth for our Radio 2 music documentary. I say 'our' because it's the work of myself and my writing partner. Who's on his way now. And he gets very cross if his coffee isn't ready on time. Ooh, I can hear him coming up the stairs now!
RJW
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